Suicide Method Seen to Reflect 2K Voter Anomalies in Florida
AUSTIN/TALLAHASSEE (AP) - Texas Governor and former Republican Presidential Nominee George W. Bush was found sprawled, half-clothed, on a Stainless Steel Counter in the Kitchen area of the Texas Statehouse, dead of a 22 Caliber Bullet lodged in his right lung.This, the result of of a single self-inflicted Gunshot up his ass. In order to anticipate numerous inquires, it was indeed revealed that the weapon used was of the 'Long-Barreled' variety. No Notes of any kind were found. However, a half-finished Bowl of New England Clam Chowder and a large open jar of Vaseline were found nearby. Meanwhile, at the Florida Statehouse, brother Jeb was found slumped over a New see-through Mac, an apparent suicide as a result of two simultaneous hammer blows, driving two Generic "Ballot Punch-Pins" through both of his Eye Sockets, reaching his puny, mal-formed brain, thus causing a slow painful death. Aides of the Florida Governor remarked afterwards that this was the only indication they knew of that indicated that Jeb was, indeed, ambidextrous. |
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